So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
