dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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