last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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