So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
