Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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