She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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