i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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