Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize