She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize