i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
