Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
