I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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