My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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