what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
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I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
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Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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