I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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