So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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