no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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