The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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