Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
