They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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