pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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