dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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