Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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