yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
