Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
