no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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