Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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