I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
