I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you never un-have a 4some
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
