I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
