Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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