Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
