What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
