sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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