Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
