I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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