i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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