Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
