I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize