I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
