when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
