so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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