just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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