absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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