I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
