so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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