I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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