worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
