Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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