dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
