Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
