he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
