i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
