he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
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Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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