I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need a beard to bite.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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