How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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