The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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