That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
