Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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