I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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