i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
