My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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