i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's never too late to be topless.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
