no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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