well I can't set my house on fire every night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
