...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize