Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
