why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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